|Thursday, March 4th, 2010|
|Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009|
|In itself this is nothing
I BROKE MY HEART WHILE LISTENING TO YOURS
YOUR EYES ADORNED WITH ALL THE SELF-INDULGANT COMPLEXITIES, THAT PERPLEXED ME, BUT DIDNT QUITE CONNECT WITH ME.
AND FROM MY THROAT I SPOKE
WITH UNREQUITTED PRAISE.
WHICH MADE YOUR GAZE SEEM ALL THE MORE SHALLOW AND ALL THE LESS DEEP.
AND I STOOD THERE LIKE A TREE
READY TO BE CLUNG TO
AND ONLY BY YOU
BUT THERE WAS NO SWINGING FROM MY BRANCHES
ONLY YOUR FLEETING GLANCES
WHICH KEPT ME HANGING ON AND ON
FOR SO LONG
WHILE YOU WERE ALL BUT GONE
OH PLEASE, DONT BE LONG FROM ME
|Friday, June 5th, 2009|
|Life is a love affair. This is an affair of love.
The sirens are searching
The settled air is frantic
Destined hearts a'marching
With muddled ease of panic
The clearest sky's and hopeful cries have left us far behind.
The simple sound still lingers
The searing mood in flight
Calm peace left in anger
And laid to rest the night
Rhythms making rhymes, and tales telling time.
|Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009|
|Tuesday, April 14th, 2009|
I am a broken man who
Doesnt EVER deserve You.
I am a broken man who
sleep is my worst enemy, yet so attractive. Ive been neglecting writing my papers, and Im running out of time to write them. Someday maybe I'll become responsible. Until then, Im stuck living the life of a severe procrastinator.
Music makes things bearable.
|Wednesday, April 8th, 2009|
|This sacred death of mine...
I am a man defined not by my failures but by His grace.
If it were not for grace, my failures would overtake me as the wolf ascends upon a wounded calf.
This sacred death of mine.
|Thursday, April 2nd, 2009|
|Wednesday, April 1st, 2009|
|here we are
Currently sitting in health care ethics. Talkin abouts genome technology and messing with genetics. Sometimes I wonder what God would say about this stuff. It seems like so many issues present today are left ambiguous within the Bible. many things are not black and white.
In other news. As of today april 1st I will attempt to abstain from fast food for one full year (excluding kfc, and tbell)
Where does the future take rest
|Wednesday, March 18th, 2009|
|the feeling we forget
We've started becoming what we are not. Everyone faking their existance.
The future is the worst lover of all.
|Friday, March 13th, 2009|
|I am fear.
I am fear.
I am ruled by fear. It is my master.
Fear of who I am. Fear of what I am not.
I fear failure. In everything, my one comfort is that I didn't really try. I am fear.
I fear that no one really knows me.
I fear that no one would want to really know me.
I fear that I'm not who I'm supposed to be.
I fear that I will lose who I really am.
I fear that I don't know who I really am. I am fear.
I fear that my very existence is meaningless.
I fear that my life matters to know one.
I fear God.
I fear that I become fake to make life livable. I am fear.
I fear love.
I fear love because I fear not being loved back.
I fear love because I fear that I will lack in love.
I fear that love will be found lacking.
I fear my potential.
I fear my lack of potential. I am fear.
I am ruled by fear. It is my master.
Fear of who I am. Fear of what I am not. I am fear.
|...and then, THEN, we will know it is the end.
I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be more.
And when I die they'll say "he was a good man"
They'll say "he was a good man."
I begged to be better.
I begged to be more.
The depression of many, the failure of few
With the torpid sound of an unsung tune
The fields grow stale with the morning dew
And the clouds avail the hardened moon
Ive been telling myself the man in the mirror isnt me.
Ive been leading my own hand to tradegy. Current Mood: discontent
|Wednesday, March 12th, 2008|
Life. How incredibly odd it is. Odd where we have been. Odd where we are going. The past. How incredibly lonely it is. The future. How incredibly unfulfilled it is.
How undeniably good God has been.
|Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007|
|we're all sinking for our sins, unless grace be the wind
I met someone the other day and we were talking about faith/religion. He was telling me how he's not where he should be and that he always thinks its funny how we do our own thing when the most important thing in life is God. I almost hugged him. I could tell he grasped what I've been dealing with for at least the last four years of my life. Why do I live my life as if the ONLY thing that matters DOES NOT matter to me. If you really looked at my life I really dont know if you could see the evidence of me being a christian. Our lives are supposed to be lived to where it is impossible not to tell what we truly are. Our every action should be an inconvenience to our desired wills because it is that personal nature/will/desires we are meant to abolish.
I have an easy job. I can get my work done in less than half the time I am at my job. So I get my work done in a mere 3 hours and then waste time for the other 5. I dont do a bad job at what I need to do, but I really dont make sure it is an excellent job, and I make sure I only really do what is required. I cant even describe how this makes me feel upset at myself.
I found an iphone today. My first thought was "sweet now I dont have to buy one". I didnt keep it. I gave it to the owner, but it made me sick to think that keeping it was my first reaction.
I've been complaining a long time about not having a computer. I dont really need one. I have computers at school to do my homework on and access to the internet to i dont have to worry about that. Im spending 500-1000 to get something I dont need. Really the only reason I want it is to play games and so i can start my music library up again, and maybe do some writing but i can do that on paper. Not only will this cost me alot of money but I will end up spending alot of money and time on games and such. What does this profit me? Can i not invest that time/money one better avenues.
to have more love is to have more of Christ.
Is your love really Love?
Is my love really Love?
I think our love isn't Love,
Unless it's Love to the end.
Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn't God,
If he fits inside our heads.
|Monday, September 17th, 2007|
I have no phone. This is a terrible state to be in.
In other but related news....the i-phone is now a mere $399.
|Friday, September 7th, 2007|
|I guess you dont have....
"For where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain: there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise."
|Friday, July 27th, 2007|
clearly this is the last thing endeavored upon and the first to be hated. Its subtle truth easily seen yet never recognized. This then is how it goes through out the waters and the earth. This then is the answer to our sorrow and despair for we look not too that which gives us sight. We stand not upon that which gives us our footing. And we trust not that which is the only thing worthy of trust.
Clearly we know not what clarity is. For the very seconds we live we find ourselves in mind to despise yet not wanting to lose. How can we compare our own life and judge it to be wanting. What then are we setting the standards to. Is this life we live not the only one we have known. How then have we come to this notion of lacking or incompleteness. The tree does not say to itself, "this is not what a tree should be" or it does not tell the forest that the forest has somehow missed out on what a forest is. But yet we find ourselves in this state of mind. But alas all conclusions come out the same, that this is not WHAT IS, fore in our minds we can not bear to think that this is the only truth to be grasped.
|Saturday, February 10th, 2007|
|This then is what I am left with.
I never cease to prove to myself that I am nothing I ever percieved myself to be. Whether my digression has come from a failure to contemplate, dissect, and critique that of myself, or rather I meander through and through not caring for such details, I still am left with the implosion of I, me, myself. Subsequently, who I am is not who I am. If I am or be in existance of who I am not then this life or my percieved existance has become a complete fraud or replacement from the truth.
I will have to finish this thought later.
"When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek."
|Wednesday, December 13th, 2006|
|Voice is a color reference to time
Im standing on a old wooden dock looking out over the sea.
My ships about to leave.
And I have no freaking clue where Im going.
now...back to finals....
|Friday, November 17th, 2006|
"The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried."
"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
and....mewithoutyou in like...3 hours....hecks yes.
|Friday, November 3rd, 2006|
|Faketresses and Dimes
Waking up is like opening a piece of mail with no return address.
Im feeling, anxious.